Dear Abby: My husband replaced me in his band with another female singer

Dear ABBY: My husband and I used to play in a band together. He played the guitar and I sang. He now has another singer in his band and I can barely contain my feelings. At first, he was invited to an existing group where she was already, and he accepted. But then, that band broke up and reformed, and he kept the girl in it. He knows how badly I wanted to sing again. I tried endlessly to revive us as a duo or a startup group, but getting him to work with me was like pulling teeth.

I was a solo singer before him and since then, but he has never been honest with me about why he doesn’t want me to perform with him again. This has affected my confidence so much that I have practically given up singing. It kills me that I gave up my artistic identity for this. The thing is, he’s just a local player – it’s not the right time. He had his peak years ago, and it’s just average. They don’t have followers or crowds lining up to see them.

I tried to be supportive because he needed the confidence. But I’m like two people – the supportive wife and the manipulative green-eyed monster. To add insult to injury, she has made it clear she doesn’t like me by unfriending me on social media. She named the group after herself and posts provocative pictures of herself in the group all over the internet. I hate feeling like that. I don’t like who I am. Do you have any tips? – JEALOUS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR Jealous: Although the band was originally your husband’s, at the end of your letter you state that the vocalist named the band after her – which leads me to believe that the band is now hers and he is her employee. The fact that this new batch isn’t doing particularly well may mean it won’t last much longer. You had a singing career before you met your husband. It may be time to think about reviving it and reclaiming your artistic identity.

Dear ABBY: Our daughter was widowed a few years ago. She will now marry for the second time. She and her fiance are financially stable. Both have good jobs and are financing the wedding themselves. They have a lot of furniture and other household items.

My question is, what can we give them as a wedding gift, or how can we help them? Would it be appropriate to offer to pay for the wedding cake and champagne for the reception? Any other suggestions would be appreciated. – BRIDE’S PARENTS

DEAR PARENTS: Why not pitch your idea and ask if your daughter has any other ideas on how you can be of service. Since she and her fiance have good jobs and are financing the wedding themselves, consider offering them something for the new home, such as a home appliance, or contributing to the honeymoon.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.