Jealousy is ab-h.
Psychotherapists warn that Rebecca Syndrome, also known as “retroactive jealousy”, is having a frightening impact on relationships, as experts note an increase in inquiries about the condition.
In a recent blog post by psychotherapist Toby Ingham, he describes patients with Rebecca Syndrome as being “obsessed” with their partner’s ex-partner.
Psychoanalyst Dr. Darian Leader was inspired by Daphne du Maurier’s 1938 gothic novel Rebecca when he invented the condition. The novel tells the story of a young woman who exhibits behaviors that speak of insecurity within herself and the relationship. She develops jealous traits after discovering information about her partner’s exes.
According to Ingham, the buzzy psychological term has been gaining in Google search interest since 2018 with patients self-diagnosing their “obsessional problem”.
“It’s not a good idea,” Ingham writes.
Signs of the condition can be noticed when a partner becomes jealous of the partner’s exes or previous sexual or romantic relationships.
People suffering from this condition will find themselves comparing their looks, intelligence and sexual intimacy with their former lovers. Rebecca syndrome can make people insecure, questioning everything about their relationship.
The fixation contributes to obsessional neurosis, which “describes a condition where the mind is invaded by compulsive words, images, or ideas. These uncontrollable, obsessive thoughts dominate the mind,” Ingham detailed in the online essay.
Ingham admits that retroactive jealousy doesn’t thrive from being in a relationship; it originates from childhood.
“While these early problems will be unique to each of us, they could, for example, be related to the fact that we felt neglected by a parent who preferred one of our siblings to us,” Ingham told MailOnline. “Or maybe about the problems we felt we were unimportant or left out in our birth family.”
The expert added that people tend to project their insecurities and personal issues onto their current relationships, which can damage the dynamic.
“Ask yourself if your anxiety, your intrusive thoughts about feeling less important to your partner than their ex, might be related to your past rather than your current relationship,” Ingham said. .
An interview-based study conducted in 2018 found that social media encourages retroactive jealousy because users can easily check the details of their partner’s past relationships. However, Ingham advises people to avoid talking about the past unless they can leave it at that.
“Don’t ask about your partners past, especially about their sexual history, too much sharing at the beginning of a new relationship often haunts us,” he said.
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